Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and, with the aid of hindsight, mould myself into the kind of teenager I now obsessively watch films about. I could make sure I fostered the right aesthetics and created myself in a sepia tinted world. I would have a narrower sense of perspective, resulting in less guilt and an ability to feel everything ten times more deeply than I ever did. I would experience the life-and-death feeling that teenage emotions are supposed to come with. I would go to parties and somehow make people think I was kissable. I wouldn't repress so much. I'd make friends outside of school, cool ones whose apathy was genuine and not just attitude, a front. I'd think more deeply and analyse more but still be over-dramatic and self-absorbed. I'd be a teenager worth making films about and not someone I'm bored by as an adult.